Beauty in the Wilderness

“One of my prayers is that God will help me understand, feel or know what your season that you’ve gone through in this last year has been like; To show me what it’s like to be in your season.” This is what a friend messaged me last month in a voice memo. As her words reached my ears, my eyes pooled with tears. 

My first response to her was this, “You don’t want to know, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, it has been H A R D.” As I kept speaking, revelation came and unexplainable gratitude overcame my heart, eventually long pauses of weeping as I realized the wilderness season has been the most beautiful season because I got to see my Maker face to face and experienced His presence in ways many haven’t.

This encouragement is for those still in the wilderness season, or those about to step into the wilderness. Know my heart goes out to you and I speak strength over you, but also, I pray this will open your eyes to see beauty in the moment and in the season.

It was in the wilderness season, where I was all alone, no friends, no family, no community, in the middle of the solitude is where my one and only true friend stood by my side, never leaving me and never forsaking me. The moments I felt so weak, His strength filled me with the courage to get up from bed and keep moving forward. When the barrenness was all I saw, He would show up with a bouquet of flowers reminding me it will not always be like this. When the dry land was parched all around His living waters became a spring in my heart. 

“Therefore, I am now going to persuade her, lead her to the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.” Hosea 2:14 HCSB

It was in the wilderness where I heard His voice clearly, where I heard Him speak truth over my life, where He spoke identity and encouragement shattering the lies from my past. In the wilderness is where He whispered loving words in my ear of worth, acceptance and confidence. It is in that wilderness I truly got to experience His grace, His provision, His protection, and His unfailing devotion to me. 

“Jacob named the place Peniel, “For I have seen God face to face,” he said, “and I have been delivered.” Genesis 32:30 HCSB

I read this verse right after I called a pastor friend; I had been wrestling with the Lord to the extent of losing my voice, I was desperate! With joy and wisdom, the words he spoke over the phone, “Maritza, the good thing is that after the wrestling comes the blessing.” Immediately I knew I was to read the story of Jacob, specifically the part where he wrestled with the Lord. Right after Jacob wrestled, he got the blessing, and then he said what we read, “For I have seen God face to face.” That is when it became crystal clear, it was in the wrestling of the wilderness season, I have seen God, the King of Kings, the Great I am, face to face. Originally I didn’t see it because I was too busy fighting Him to get out of the wilderness. 

After Pharaoh finally let the Israelites go, Exodus 13:17-18 reads, “… God said, ‘if the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So God led them in a roundabout way through the wilderness toward the Red Sea.” This made complete sense on why God would lead us into the wilderness; He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew He needed to lead me into the wilderness to remove old mindsets and give me His perspective so I wouldn’t self-sabotage the calling and plans He has for me by going back to my old life.

“Give thanks to him who led his people through the wilderness. His faithful love endures forever.” Psalm 136:21 NLT

The wilderness has its purpose. Though difficult, and as I told my friend, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, if one truly wants to live the destiny and calling of God for their life to the fullness of life He ordains, it is necessary. 

The wilderness season helped me know the character of God. It allowed me to not only see Him face to face but also gave me the opportunity to wholeheartedly trust Him. It allowed me to tell everyone and anyone who asks this truth: my life is clearly not my own, He is the one who blessed me. 

I thought just like the Israelites, I had gone to the wilderness to die, when instead He led me there to give me new life, His life! 

If you are entering the wilderness, do not fear. 

If you are still in the wilderness, you don’t have to stay there forever.

It is in that wilderness you will encounter the Living One, where He will speak tenderly and truthfully. If you stop your fighting and don’t complain, and you become still, you will get to gaze at His face, His beauty, His majesty! He will encourage you, care for you and revive you,

There is more for you. Take His hand and step forward, letting Him lead and allowing His love to soothe the pain. 

“Who is this one? Look at her now! She arises out of her desert, clinging to her beloved. When I awakened you under the apple tree, as you were feasting upon me, I awakened your innermost being with the travail of birth as you longed for more of me.” Song of Songs 8:5 TPT